Sticks And Stones

We are what other people think of us. If we’re nominated by our peers as the best in the business, then we feel proud of who we are. If people in town hear rumors and decide we’re unfit parents, then we feel we must be. Why do we take to heart what others think?

Here are just a few things said about people with disabilities: “Welfare moochers”; “Not fit to live”; “Taking up space”; “Can’t work”; “Non-human”. You know what just one of those statements made in front of a person with a disability can do to their self-esteem?

You probably heard this when you were growing up, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me”. I can still see myself standing in the street, shouting this at some bully that would give me a hard time. I would also quickly move indoors.

Since childhood, I haven’t let many things people have said get to me. That would be a negative attitude. I never wanted to just sit around and let life pass me by. I was told early on that I probably wouldn’t walk. I told myself I will walk. So now I do walk. The difference between probably and will is in my self-esteem.

I could easily live solely off the government and let others take care of me. I didn’t have to learn to dress myself, feed myself, get an education or even get a job. I spent years doing things I didn’t have to, but I wouldn’t be a contributing member of the community today if I hadn’t.

In the words of Stephen R. Covey, “Being proactive is taking responsibility and initiative for one’s self.” We can make ourselves better by first believing in ourselves. Polio never stopped Franklin D. Roosevelt from being president. Dyslexia never stopped Whoopi Goldberg from reading scripts and staring in many movies.

While we were growing up, we put a lot of emphasis on what our parents or adults in our lives thought of us. We had a high self esteem when we were complimented on a good deed. We felt like we wanted to crawl into a hole when we did something wrong. It made us strong, right?

Each day I try to find the positive in a negative. Why cry over spilt milk? Each challenge is a way of strengthening my self-esteem. I could go on blaming God for giving me a disability or I could thank Him for giving me a unique perspective on life.

We are all given the power to choose. There is right and wrong, just like there is trial and error. We are bound to make mistakes. We learn from those mistakes. Adults in our lives have gone done the road and know where some of the pot holes are. Let’s not fall into the same holes.

Have you ever said to someone, “You can’t do it that way”? Instead of verbally pushing someone down, what about this: “Is there a better way to do that?” In the second phrase we put the challenge to them, instead of demeaning them.

Taking responsibility is a challenge. Many like to blame or poke fun of others. If each of us takes responsibility of ourselves and help others through challenges, we can feel better about ourselves and others. What others think of us will mean so much more if it is said in a positive way. Look around you and see all the positive things in your life.